you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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