I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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