you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We have started to decorate penises.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Randomize
