if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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