Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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