Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
