i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
