Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
