Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
