bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
