her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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