so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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