her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
