Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
