Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
