it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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