My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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