Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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