just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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