I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
