i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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