i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
