White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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