Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
