There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
