Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
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I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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