Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
