who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
