Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
