When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
