there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Are we still banned from the library?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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