Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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