Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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