OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
