hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
