Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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