My hair reeks of homosexuality.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
