I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
