just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I stole a fireplace last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
