; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
