new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
