he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I intend to get homeless drunk
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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