Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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