It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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