Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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