I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize