I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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