It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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