he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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