Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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