if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize