umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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