Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
