I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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