carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
