and i looked up. we had an audience...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
