Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize