The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
