At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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