he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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