Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
