is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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