whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
