he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
