new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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