shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
