I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize