Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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