Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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